Fans have been discussing for weeks now which actors might take on the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ roles on the big screen. But forget Alexander Skarsgard as Christian Grey– THIS FANTASY AUDIO BOOK IS THE HOTTEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

An original from the folks at Jest features women listening to passages of the erotic betseller read by Gilbert Gottfried, the comedian with the “sensual” voice. Take a look:

According to NY Daily News, Mickey Mouse can be added to the list of supporters of gay marriage:

Despite their having no legal status, same sex couples are able to hold fairytale wedding ceremonies at hotels inside the popular Tokyo Disney Resort, including at the Cinderella Castle, a company spokeswoman said Tuesday.

News of the unions came to light when Koyuki Higashi, 27, enquired about marrying her female partner at the resort.

A member of staff who answered the call said there would be no problem with their marrying, provided they dressed “like a man and a woman”, Higashi wrote on her blog.

The staff member explained a same-sex wedding would create “repercussions” among visitors to the park if both brides were wearing wedding dresses or both grooms wore tuxedoes, the blog added.

However, a few days later, the resort operator got back in touch to say their initial response had been wrong and gay couples were free to mix and match their attire.

The only catch is that gay couples are not allowed to wed inside the resort’s onsite chapel “because of Christian teaching.” But that didn’t diminish Higashi’s excitement:

Higashi and her bride-to-be, identified on the blog only as Hiroko, have now visited Tokyo Disneyland, where they met Mickey Mouse to give him the good news.

“Mickey first looked surprised to hear that we are a ‘couple of girls’,” Higashi wrote. “But we said we were there to thank him because same-sex weddings can be held at the Disney Resort, and he celebrated with us.”

Weddings at the Cinderella Castle cost 7.5 million yen, which comes out to about $95,000.

While the country does not legally allow same-sex marriage, AFP reported on March 27, 2009 that Japan had given the green light for its nationals to marry same-sex foreign partners in countries where such unions are legal.

]]> http://www.fkmyself.com/2012/05/gay-weddings-allowed-at-tokyo-disney-resort/feed/ 0 http://www.fkmyself.com/2012/05/irate-man-records-noisy-neighbors-having-sex-uploads-to-youtube-audio/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=irate-man-records-noisy-neighbors-having-sex-uploads-to-youtube-audio http://www.fkmyself.com/2012/05/irate-man-records-noisy-neighbors-having-sex-uploads-to-youtube-audio/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 16:47:07 +0000 Jackoff Sparrow http://www.fkmyself.com/?p=1517

Gotta love Reddit. This morning someone posted the following picture with the caption, “My friend was kept up by neighbours last night”:

Not only did this person upload the noises to YouTube…

…but there is now a dubstep remix for all to enjoy:

I guess that’s one way to show em.

After Obama’s historic suport of gay mariage last week, The Huffington Post decided to dig through archives of ‘The Daily Show’ and ‘The Colbert Report’ to compile nearly 30 of their favorite clips on the issue as reported by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert over the years. Here are my 5 favorite:

1. Jon Stewart: “The prime talking point from Republicans about  people who support gay mariage has gone from ‘it will destroy society via turtle fucking’ to ‘of course you’re for it, you’ll say anything popular to get re-elected.’ That is progress.”

2. Stephen Colbert: “I am an originalist. I believe God ordained marriage to be between one man and that man’s rib… same reason why it’s okay to have sex with barbecue.”

3. Colbert on Joe Biden, ‘Will & Grace’

4. Colbert unveils his new sitcom script ‘Pussy Hound’ with actor Eric McCormack, a show about 2 straight guys named Will and Grayson

5. Jon Stewart: We’re Here, We’re Queer, Get Newsed To It

President Obama discussed his historic stance on gay marriage during The View, which was taped Monday and aired yesterday morning on ABC. He does not fault Joe Biden for forcing his hand on the issue of same-sex marriage because “it came out of a generosity of spirit.”

Obama declined to say whether he would fight to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, the 1996 federal law that defines marriage as the legal union between a man and a woman. Mary Bruce at ABC News reports:

The administration has already stopped defending the legislation, but the president said the rest is up to Capitol Hill.

“Congress is clearly on notice that I think it’s a bad idea,” the president said. “This is going to be a big contrast in the campaign because you’ve got Governor [Mitt] Romney saying we should actually have a constitutional amendment installing the notion that you can’t have same-sex marriages.”

When asked by ABC’s Barbara Walters whether he would fight federal laws that limit the rights of gay and lesbian couples, the president noted, “we don’t think the Defense of Marriage Act is constitutional.”

“This is something that historically had been determined at the state level and part of my believing ultimately that civil unions weren’t sufficient, and I’ve been a longtime supporter of civil unions for same-sex couples, was partly because of the issue of Social Security benefits and other laws,” he said.

Female First reports that online retailer Lovehoney has compiled a list of the best celebrity sex quotes to mark this week’s launch of the Happy Rabbit (dubbed the ‘iPhone of sex toys’, whatever that means). Some highlights:

Gwyneth Paltrow, 39, on her favorite sexual position: “I’m down with all of them!”

Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria, 37, on sex toys: “I own two and I have a Rabbit one. I give that as a gift all the time. It’s the best gift to give – an orgasm.”

Teri Hatcher, 47, also from Desperate Housewives: “To be honest, I don’t know what I want a male for. I have some fabulous electronics to use instead. And any woman who tells you she doesn’t is lying.”

Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, 39, loves vibrators and sends them to friends as presents. “They are very good for relaxation,” she explained. “But you know what the problem is? They don’t hug you afterwards… We buy them for each other so we don’t have to admit buying them for ourselves.”

Zoe Saldana, 33: “I like missionary and I like being on my knees too. And I love being on top…or standing up.”

Zoe Saldana (Image from theshootingrange.net)

Cameron Diaz, 39 : “I love porn! You what I love about hotels? How discreet they are. “They always give you that little thing at the bottom- ‘Your room will be charged the same as any other room, no titles will be used.”

Rapper Missy Elliott, 40: “My vibrator keeps me happy for now… the butterfly is my favourite – it’s out of this world.” Missy has even written a song celebrating the wonders of vibrators called ‘Toyz’ which contains the lyrics: “I gotta a bag full of toys and I don’t need none of you boys!”

Jane Fonda, 74: “I like to be either lying down or sitting up on a couch,” she said of her favourite sexual positions.

Model and TV presenter Annabelle Knight, 27, a sexpert at Loveyhoney, said stars were becoming far more open about their sex lives. She said: “I think it is a really good thing – we’ve been uptight about sex for far too long. It’s great that celebrities are loosening up.”

Image of Cameron Diaz bestartistfashion.blogspot.com

Barack Obama has officially become the first sitting President to formally declare support for gay marriage. Woohoo!  Check out his interview with ABC News today:

Ah, Prom night. The magical eve upon which so many young lovebirds finally give up their v-card.  Knowing so well what teens do, Act for Women and Girls distributed condoms this past weekend to some 2,000 students with the Visalia Unified School District as they left their Junior Senior Prom. This was part of campaign titled, “Don’t Let Your Hot Date Turn into a Due Date.”

This didn’t go over so well for parents like Gina Hernandez, who said, “It’s like advertising sex, and saying it’s okay to just go and have fun.” Darren Dula, another parent, said, “It’s not the right place to be conducted; I think it’s completely wrong.”

Act for Women and Girls volunteers disagree, saying teen pregnancy is a major problem in Tulare County and it needs to be addressed.

KMPH reports:

Lisa Alvarado [of Act for Women and Girls] says, “Realistically I’m saying if you’re having sex, we want you to make healthy choices. We don’t want you to get STDs or have an unplanned pregnancy.”

Visalia Unified officials say as long as the group stays on public property, there is nothing the school district can do.

Act volunteers say condoms aren’t the only thing inside the packet that is passed out to students.

The packet also contains other resources like suicide prevention and rape crisis numbers and other information.

Volunteers say it’s all about empowering students with information, which will keep them safe.

 I say keep up the good work.

Images from KMPH news

ABC 7 News reported last week that D’Avonte Meadows, a first-grader at Sable Elementary School in Aurora, Colorado, was recently suspended from school for 3 days after repeating a line from a hit LMFAO song to his female classmate: “I’m sexy and I know it.”

D’Avonte’s mother, Stephanie Meadows, was in disbelief: “I think it’s overwhelming. Sexual harrassment on a 6 year old.” According to HuffPost, she met with school officials yesterday who agreed to consider changing the record of “sexual harassment” to “harassment” because of his age.

Please. There are definitely worse song lyrics he could be quoting in class.

Also gotta love that “I didn’t do it” t-shirt he’s sporting in the interview.

School officials declined to comment. Did they go too far? Check out the 7 News report and weigh in below:

LMFAO’s Sexy And I Know It video:

I wonder if this looks familiar to the “mommy porn” readers out there– a new Saturday Night Live sketch/faux Mother’s Day ad for Amazon.com features various women enjoying some sexy solo time with the smash E.L. James novel Fifty Shades of Grey before being interrupted by their well-meaning children. A perfect reminder of why you should always lock the door. Take a look: