This would almost be funny if it weren’t so infuriating. A psychotic video by the American Life League that could easily be confused with an Onion parody has been circulating the internet, accusing Planned Parenthood of “get[ting] kids addicted to sex so it can sell them birth control.” The unidentified man in the ALL report explains: “When teens catch a Sexually Transmitted Disease, it sells them testing services. And when a young girl gets pregnant, it sells her an abortion. This isn’t education, it’s indoctrination intended to drum up Planned Parenthood’s abortion business.”

Riiiiiight. Because teenagers wouldn’t think about sex without Planned Parenthood shoving “pornographic” propaganda in their face. As always, I’m baffled that these pro-life conservatives fail to see the connection between contraceptive sex education and lower abortion rates. These people need a strong smack in the face.

Amy Poehler rejoined Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live this weekend for Weekend Update’s “Really?!?” segment on birth control. She criticized last week’s congressional committee on birth control that included no women, saying “that would be like not inviting any men to a congressional committee debating the Maxim Top 100.” Amy also responded to billionaire Foster Friess’ apology for commenting that women in his day used aspirin between their knees as birth control. ”Well, we’d love to accept your apology, Foster, but you made a mistake — and now you’re going to have to live with that mistake for the rest of your life.” Take a look:

Hats off to TeenSource.org for launching a new program supported by the California Department of Health that will allow teens  in various parts of the state to order free condoms online. Individuals age 12-19 in Alameda, Sacramento, Kern, San Joaquin and parts of San Francisco counties can sign up on the TeenSource site to receive a package of condoms, lubricant and an educational pamphlet delivered in a discreet yellow envelope.

The Bakersfield Californian reports that the effort marks an attempt to tackle “alarmingly high” rates of STDs and teen pregnancies in certain regions. Amy Voy, the VP of Public Affairs for the Family Health Council which co-sponsors the new program, says ”We can’t keep our heads in the sand and pretend there isn’t a problem. We know teens are engaging and we want to make sure they’re as safe as possible.”

Parents and abstinence groups are of course up in arms about the new initiative; many naive conservatives have argued for years that it’s these kinds of sex education resources that “give teenagers ideas.” However, as HuffPost points out:

Repeated studies have suggested that providing teenagers with access to birth control and comprehensive sex education does not encourage the population to have intercourse. On the other hand, “no abstinence-only program has yet been proven through rigorous evaluation to help youth delay sex for a significant period of time, help youth decrease their number of sex partners, or reduce STI or pregnancy rates among teens,” a report published by Advocates For Youth in 2009 read.

San Francisco county, meanwhile, has some of the lowest instances of teen pregnancy in the state, with 2,387 cases in 2011 as compared with Kern’s 13,861.

TeenSource.org was developed by the California Family Health Council and launched in July 2001

JOE.ie reports that a couple in Germany was recently compensated after their mortified daughter saw them on a TV sex show:

Due to a production mistake, the parents – who voluntarily went to a sex club and knew that they would be filmed – appeared unpixellated, with the teen girl’s father dressed as Batman while holding a sex toy and her mother dressed in stockings and suspenders while inside a cage.

“I wouldn’t want be in your shoes,” the presiding judge told the parents as they sought full compensation from German TV station RTL, according to the Süddeutsche. “That’s simply embarrassing.”

The couple tried to sue RTL for a large sum of money, claiming emotional upset for their daughter. The court only awarded them £160 each and rejected the claim because they had voluntary gone to the club and agreed to be filmed, even though they thought their faces were going to be blurred out on television. The production company admitted to promising participants that their identities would be kept confidential but had “simply forgotten” to pixellate the couple.

I doubt that kid will be enjoying The Dark Knight Rises anytime soon.

Image from batmania.misentropy.com

Earlier this week on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart poked fun at the religious uproar over the Obama administration’s mandate that health insurance companies provide birth control coverage. Stephen Colbert chimed in on the debate: ”There is nothing we American Catholics enjoy more than defending the Church’s stance on contraception. It is a central tenant to our faith, as deeply held as our belief in marble, Jesus on snack food and unintentionally hot school uniforms.” He cites the Church’s Humanae Vitae Encyclical Letter, stating that “‘The transmission of human life is a most serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with God.’… so when you use contraception you are not only sinning, you are cock-blocking The Almighty.” Take a look:

In Monday night’s episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart’s Vagina Ideologues segment looked at the religious response to the Obama administration’s mandate  requiring health insurers to offer birth control coverage. Even though Obama has said that religious organizations do not have to pay for these services or provide them in any way, conservatives are still accusing him of waging a war on religion.  Take a look:

The segment continues featuring clips from Sean Hannity’s show that brought together “a diverse panel of experts on the subject of contraception: Catholic men, Jewish men, Baptist men, black men, white men, absolutely everyone who might have something relevant to say on women’s reproductive health.” Stewart’s response to “the world’s holiest sausage fest”: “You’ve confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want. It’s called being part of a society, not everything goes your way!” He continues, “America isn’t Nazi Germany and the secret police aren’t coming for you. Hell, the IRS isn’t even coming for you. This government hates religious organizations so much it lets them keep a hundred billion dollars a year in offerings tax-free. Persecute my ass like that. I’d love it.”

What do you think? Are religious conservatives overreacting? Weigh in below.

Valentine’s Day has come and gone but for those of you still looking to add a little fun and spice to your love life, there’s the Closer ToGetHer app created by a man named Justin Wilcox. Available for $9.99 on the Android Market or iTunes App Store, Closer ToGetHer works as a remote vibrator allowing one user to remotely control the vibration function of another phone. Slash Gear reports:

Wilcox is a former Microsoft employee who, during his time at the software giant, developed a hack that would turn an Xbox controller’s vibration function into something more romantic. The hack made the controller vibrate in response to music. He was so proud of the idea that he took it to Microsoft’s patent office, which flatly refused the idea because of its adult purpose. So instead, Wilcox decided to run with the idea himself and modified it for smartphones.

Not bad for under ten bucks right? Please weigh in and let us know if you get a chance to test drive these vibes for yourself.

Image from SlashGear.com

By Kim H.

Yesterday at a lovely cafe in Echo Park, I was told to take my suitcase of sex toys out of there after  discreetly giving one of my buddies a small Screaming O ring when he bought a FKMYSELF t-shirt. In liberal Los Angeles. As if I were a drug peddler or something! I quietly did as I was told and harbor no ill will towards the friendly staff, but it was another perfect example of how uptight we still are around sex in this country.

Meanwhile, our neighbors up north in Abbotsford, Canada were recently deprived of the  Taboo Naughty But Nice Show after opposition from the Christian Community. British Columbia’s CTV News reports:

Former Abbotsford mayoral candidate Gerda Peachey was happily stunned when Canwest Productions called off the sex show scheduled to begin at the end of March. For months, she had been speaking out against the event because of religious reasons. ”That Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show is a perversion; it’s a distortion of what the man-woman relationship is to be,” Peachey told CTV News.

A distortion according to what? What is the man-woman relationship supposed to be? Are we to look to the Bible for answers, the same text that tells us: “Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence”? If anything this silent submissive role seems perfectly in line with some of that BDSM stuff that is supposedly so “perverted.”

Across the globe, a court in Paris is preparing to rule on whether sex toys are to be classified as erotic or pornographic; according to The Telegraph, Catholic groups there have been complaining that the sale of toys at a “love shop”, 1969 - Curiosités Désirables, 100 yards from a school violates French law that forbids a business from operating within 200 meters of an educational establishment if it sells or displays “pornographic” objects:

“One can call a sex shop a “Love shop”, a vibrator a ‘sex toy’ and a fellatio simulator a “gourmand pleasure object’, but these are just words. The truth is this we have a sex shop selling pornographic objects,” he told the court.

“There are as many possible definitions of pornography as there are individuals,” countered defence lawyer Richard Malka…Mr Malka began by arguing the law used to prosecute his client was anti-constitutional as it was contrary to the freedom of trade.

He said that a study geocoding the 200m perimetre around primary and secondary schools found that the “only place this type of business could still set up shop would be cemeteries, public gardens and railways”.

If such a strict interpretation of the law were applied, he went on, “they’d have to shut not just all sex shops but also Galeries Lafayette”.

This in a country where photos of sexy naked women are featured on giant billboards for all men, women and children to see.

All I have to say is

RELAX… IT’S JUST SEX.

Sheesh.

Image from http://www.socialshopper.com/

Digging through the old archive of unpublished interviews, I came across this one from the 2011 “Everything To Do With Sex” expo. These two furniture makers from the LA BDSM organization Bordello of Decadence opened up about bondage misconceptions, spanking, and showed off some discreet sex furniture.

Their official website seems to be down these days but they can stil be found at KinkArena.com.

A few months ago I stumbled across some erotic Harry Potter fanfiction. Here’s an excerpt from a piece at The Quidditch Pitch entitled “Fantasies Fulfilled”:

Charlie allowed Harry to push him back on the bed and Harry’s hands slid around Hermione’s waist. She loved the way the leather felt against her skin and when he lifted her over Charlie’s cock and slid her down slowly she cried out his name. He cupped her breast before tugging one of his gloves off with his teeth. His lips trailed a line of fire down her back and he pushed her shoulders forwarded when he reached the curve of her arse. She expected to feel his fingers inside her but when she felt his tongue circling her puckered hole she nearly screamed with pleasure. His tongue dipped inside, stretching her, and she slowly rocked back and forth. Charlie’s hand was between her legs, rubbing her clit, and his lips closed around her nipple… Harry began driving his tongue inside her, abruptly pulling out and whispering a charm…

Rawr. Fortunately for us the good folks over at Bravo managed to get Ralph Fiennes and Daniel Radcliffe to do a brief reading of some similar scintillating scenes:

Radcliffe later opens up about creepy stalkers and his attraction to Katy Perry and Scarlett Johansson:

Somebody’s all growns up.