By Kim Huynh
I recently stumbled upon an article from The Sun declaring that author Malcolm Brenner’s book, Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover, was a “hit.” And by “hit” they meant it had a 5 star rating on Amazon (which has since been downgraded to 3 1/2 stars last time I checked). ‘Wet Goddess’ recounts his sexual relationship with a captive female dolphin called Ruby in the 1970s while working at a Florida theme park. From The Sun:
Mr Brenner, of Florida, said that the ‘relationship’ started after ‘she began raking her teeth lightly against my arms and legs which was indescribably erotic’.
He added: “The dolphin initiated the whole sexual thing….she was in isolation (and) was using me to satisfy her sexual needs.”
He said that Ruby died after he left to go to college, adding that she ‘probably died of a broken heart’.
He said: “I’d warn anyone who’s in a relationship with a dolphin. You have to plan an exit strategy.”
Miami New Times reports:
“It was the most intense experience I’ve ever had,” [Malcolm Brenner] said of the physical consummation of the relationship. “A transcendental experience. I felt I was completely wrapped up.”
[Malcolm Brenner] claims that the novel isn’t to promote bestiality or to exploit his relationship, but to show that marine mammals are smart animals capable of emotions and relationships and deserve protection in their natural environment. So, it’s basically like The Cove, but with sex scenes.
As you can imagine, the polarizing ‘Wet Goddess’ elicited mixed reviews on Amazon. One reader writes: “Believe or not his experiences, you will be touched to the core with his torment, love and the struggle to cope with his lost love. I found the book to be a tear jerker and an emotional experience for the reader as well. ” Another furiously exclaims: “This man is SICK with a capital “S”!!! SHAME ON AMAZON FOR SELLING SUCH A SICK BOOK ON SEX WITH BEASTS!!!”
I have always been curiously drawn to stories of taboo love affairs and had to find out more. I discovered that Malcolm Brenner created a website: Realm of the Wet Goddess, a resource for “esoteric information about dolphins, whales and other marine mammals available nowhere else!”. The site also offers a sample chapter from the book about “a hot date gone very, very wrong.” In the chapter, our protagonist, “Zack”, has taken a girl named Elaine on a date to the theme park where she hopes to swim with Ruby. Here’s an excerpt:
“Can I come in yet?” Elaine yelled.
“Just a minute,” I yelled back.
At least Ruby wasn’t trying to take me anywhere! She rolled in my arms, bringing her head up and pushing us farther out, so my feet came off the bottom. A second later, I felt her genital slit pressing the waffled soles of my sneakers. But her efforts seemed half-hearted compared to her usual flagrance, as if she found the audience inhibiting.
Cut that out! I thought.
Ruby was gentle and circumspect, but she wouldn’t stop. She stared blankly, pretending she couldn’t receive me, trying to convince me that human-dolphin telepathy was a stupid fantasy I’d dreamed up while getting stoned one night.
If I had been an observer instead of a participant, trying to stop a horny dolphin from rubbing off on my shoes while my girlfriend watched, I would have burst out laughing. On the shore was Elaine, who professed to like me but wasn’t about to let me so much as cop a feel, while out here was Ruby, who would happily screw my brains out but happened to be the wrong species.
I must guiltily admit I was disappointed that those 50 pages don’t include any actual dophin sex, unless you count dolphin masturbation. At one point Zack witnesses Ruby playing around with a hose. He talks to a woman at the park, Salina:
“Do you have any idea what she was doing with it?”
“Of course! She was hoping it would go zip!” Salina thrust an index finger at her crotch.
“You mean…?” I stammered.
“Yes.” Salina sat back, studying me. “She was using it like a dildo. They’re very bright, you know.”
“Do they uh, breed in captivity?” I asked, wary of offending her.
“Are you kidding? They screw like crazy! But the females, for some reason, won’t conceive, that pool’s too small. Out in the wild it would be a different story.”
Her bluntness caught me off-guard. When my mother got angry her mouth could make a Marine Corps drill instructor blush, but not having grown up around rich people I thought they were stuffy and inhibited and didn’t talk about things like s-e-x the way the rest of us did. Salina’s unexpected earthiness delighted me.
“Ruby’s incredibly horny in that little pen, all by herself,” she went on. “I’ve told Beau, but he just doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it. When she was smaller, he used to move her up to the main pool to be with the male dolphins every now and then.”
“I bet she enjoyed that!”
Salina rolled her eyes. “They just went nuts! They’re like us – they need a good screw every so often or they go crazy.”
Like Salina, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this horny little dolphin. If all this doesn’t seem like a plausible scenario to you, listen to one Amazon reviewer who explains:
Having worked at a Large Aquarium I have witnessed Dolphins getting frisky with trainers. I asked if what I saw was what I think I saw was happening and the trainer said “Yes, just like a dog trying to hump your leg but they are a bit smarter and know were to go”….she explained it was quite common and that is why they wear a very strong protective wetsuit to prevent such indecent. Also it could be extremely dangerous if someone was swimming with one alone in a flimsy bikini because male dolphins penises are about 12″ in length and have a cartilage like bone that could damage the insides of a person. I ask what about female dolphins and she explained it would be equally dangerous because the female dolphin can control her muscles and squeeze with such pressure that could be life threatening to a human male if one was to attempt such an act. So as outrageous as this book is it is certainly plausibly this book is true, however the author was risking his life and I would not recommend anyone to try to duplicate the actions of the author. But don’t we all risky life and limb when it comes to love ?
I doubt the author knew what kind of danger he was in when he decided to consummate his relationship with Ruby, though it seems he probably wouldn’t have cared. Luckily he didn’t end up like a certain Seattle man who died after having sex with a horse back in 2005. I have never personally viewed any bestiality porn but I gather in most cases it would constitute serious animal abuse.
In the case of Malcolm Brenner and his beloved Ruby, however, perhaps this truly was a tender, consensual interspecies love affair. After all, some scientists believe that interspecies sexual activity may have been responsible for the evolution of entire new species. Either way, what little I read of ‘Wet Goddess’ was completely captivating. What are your thoughts on this story? Weigh in below.