Category Archives: Educational

Watch John Oliver Take On Abstinence Education (VIDEO)

I have been frustrated for years with the lack of comprehensive sex education in this country. Few people take the time to bring attention to this pressing issue, which is literally a matter of life and death (as my dad pointed out when he bought me condoms freshman year of college). So I was overjoyed to see John Oliver tackle this topic on the latest episode of HBO’s Last Week Tonight. 

While conservatives are always stressing that sex ed should be taught at home, Oliver points out that “no parent wants to talk to their kids about sex, and no kid wants to talk about sex with their parents. That is why when you’re watching a movie together and there’s a sex scene, everyone becomes motionless and silently begs for the merciful release of death.” He also brings attention to the fact that Mississippi, where teachers are restricted from using condoms in educational demonstrations, ranks #2 in the country in teen pregnancy rates. After sharing hilarious/frightening clips from outdated and out of touch sex ed videos, Oliver shares his own version featuring featuring OITNB’s Laverne Cox, Jack McBrayer, Kristen Schaal and Nick Offerman. Well done, sir. Well done.


Interview with Reid ‘Sex Geek’ Mihalko

Reid ‘Sex Geek’ Mihalko from Hysteric TV on Vimeo.

I first met sex educator and Cuddle Party co-creator Reid Mihalko in 2011 at the Los Angeles Pleasure Chest where he was leading one of his classes. He referred to himself as the “golden retriever” in the sex education world and it’s easy to see why; his sweet charm and goofy personality helps put people at ease when grappling with topics that are still considered scary and taboo by many.

I have long been frustrated by America’s seemingly endless war on sex; sure, pornography has never been more readily available and vibrators are being sold in local drug stores, but sexual shame still grips a large percentage of men and women. The glimpse of a woman’s breast on national tv in this country causes public outrage. Influential (albeit crazy) politicians wage public campaigns against masturbation and contraception.  Sex is considered more obscene than violence. There are still places in this country where the sale of sex toys is considered a crime! I don’t know about you but I think something is seriously wrong here. But teachers like Reid give me hope that the tide can be turned with open dialogue and encouragement from coaches and educators to look within and own our desire.

On a sunny day in Oakland I interviewed Reid at his spacious yet cozy loft in Fruitvale (lovingly dubbed “Fruitopia”) where he shared with me the early inspiration for his career, how he’s helping to further the sex positive movement, and his philosophy about life, love and relationships.

For more information about Reid and his teachings, check out

Porn sex vs real sex (VIDEO)

Many people over the years, particularly women, have expressed concern over the role pornography has played in setting unreasonable expectations in the bedroom, especially amongst young people who are receiving all of  their sex education by watching Redtube and YouPorn (damn those abstinence only programs!). Cindy Gallop, the creative mind behind Make Love Not Porn, proclaims to be “pro sex, pro porn, pro knowing the difference.”

Now a NY production company called Kornhaber Brown [KB] has put out an amusing short film illustrating some of these differences with food:

The only access to porn I had as a kid was the scrambled variety on channel 99. One early confession from an anonymous girl submitted to FKMYSELF.COM described repeated viewings of sex scenes from Jerry Maguire and Soul Food (rewound on VHS) as masturbatory material. Man do kids have it easy these days.

But is all this easy access to pornography warping their minds? Does every teenage boy assume that every girl enjoys anal and swallowing? A lot of the sex education I received was from reading Cosmo magazine, which can’t be much better, but have unreasonable boudoir expectations become amplified by YouPorn? I’d love to hear what the readers have to say about this one- please weigh in below.

–Kim H.


First 3D Movie of Orgasm in the Female Brain


An orgasm has now been imaged in 3D video in the brain as it happens — and for possibly the first time in the history of science, women came first.

The video, which was presented at the recent Society for Neuroscience conference in Washington, D.C., is the first to look at the exact order in which women’s brain regions are activated in the progression that culminates in sexual climax. The findings have not yet been peer reviewed for publication.

Read more at TIME

Mystery of Female Orgasm Still Baffles Evolutionary Science

Fascinating look at evolutionary theories surrounding the female orgasm. From International Business Times:

Evolutionary biologists have postulated several hypotheses about the role, if any, of the female orgasm in the reproductive process for decades.

One well-known evolutionary theory has it that the female orgasm is a byproduct of ongoing selection on the male orgasm and ejaculation system. But a survey conducted recently by researchers at the University of Queensland challenges the byproduct theory.


Image of Raquel Welch from One Million Years B.C.

Why do men have wet dreams?

Via Intimate Medicine:

Wet dreams usually appear when we are young and at the height of our sexual power. But often they occur later as well.

Wet dreams are part of a man’s life

Wet dreams are most common in boys during puberty. It’s assumed that this is connected with their levels of testosterone. A study published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism showed that boys who received additional doses of testosterone had wet dreams more often, i.e. the figure increased from 17% to 90%. However, wet dreams occur also later in life. Namely, some men suffer from wet dreams only after the age of 40. As levels of testosterone are decreased, there are probably other causes of wet dreams.

Wet dreams are a safety valve for sexual tension

The most general belief is that wet dreams are the way in which the body relieves sexual tension. Different opinions are formed as to what kind of tension is actually relieved by the body, psychological or physical. In men, semen is produced irrespective of the fullness of the testicles, so it accumulates and as a result a man becomes less fertile. Namely, sperm cells cannot swim and become entangled in small heaps, which means that they’re incapable of performing their function. The body should therefore release sperm to maintain fertility. Such a theory, which sounds very convincing and logical, hasn’t been confirmed by hard evidence. Another theory says that a strong psychological pressure is built up if you don’t express your sexual desire. According to this theory, the majority of priests and single men who don’t masturbate and have no sexual relations experience more nocturnal emissions. This, however, is inconsistent with existing studies, which don’t confirm the aforementoned. Kinsey suggested that nocturnal emissions were in fact the mechanism for relieving the psychological pressure of masturbation or sexual intercourse if a man doesn’t want to do it because of religious reasons. There’s also a testimony of Philip C. van Burskirk, who described his sex life in detail and noticed that the number of nocturnal emissions was reduced by more frequent masturbation and vice versa. In 1858, he therefore had 69 wet dreams, and mankind is very thankful to him for these data.

Other possible causes of wet dreams

There are also other explanations why wet dreams occur. A very simple explanation says that people dream of an orgasm and then physically experience it. Therefore, you have a dream about having hot sex that leads you to the climax and your body responds to that. It’s similar to a horrible dream that wakes you up frightened, or if you feel sad in your dream, you can wake up crying. Another simple explanation says that friction during sleep can cause an orgasm. Your penis rubs against your legs, underwear or linen. Sometimes you have dreams as a response to a physical stimulus. Thus, the rubbing of your penis causes erotic dreams that cause an orgasm. We know from experience that the brain doesn’t even need erotic dreams to fill the penis with blood, which means that any kind of dreams can cause semen ejaculation. Older men usually don’t have an ejaculation, but if it occurs, this is often a result of a change in life, such as a healthier life, recreation, a changed diet, medications, giving up alcohol and similar. Otherwise men can only be happy after they the age of 40.

Is there any proven help for premature ejaculation?

From Emax Health:

Two to five percent of men may suffer from premature ejaculation (PE), but whether behavioral or other therapies work, remains questionable. Still, experts say men shouldn’t rule out the potential that treatment will help improve your sex life.

According to a study review from Cochrane researchers, co-authored by Stanley Althof of the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida, even more men feel they ejaculate too soon after vaginal penetration. The definition of PE is orgasm within a minute after getting started.


Image from

The contorted history of autofellatio

I would have absolutely no desire whatsoever to lick my own pussy if I was somehow able to reach it and I imagine that at least 99% of all other women would say the same thing. The appeal of autofellatio has never made much sense to me but it seems most guys have either thought about it or tried to do it at least once in their lives. Jesse Bering from shares his own experience:

Long before I knew very much about anything regarding sex, I did what many young males do, which of course is to place an empty paper-towel roll over my penis and suck hopefully upon the cardboard end.

….Seems normal enough. Kinsey can definitely vouch for this:

Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues reported in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, in fact, that, “[a] considerable portion of the population does record attempts at self-fellation, at least in early adolescence.” Sadly, given our species’ pesky ribcage and hesitant spine, Kinsey estimated that only two or three of every 1,000 males are able to achieve this feat. There’s the story of the Italian decadent poet, Gabriele d’Annunzio, who is said to have had a bone removed to facilitate the act, or that old Saturday Night Live skit in which Will Ferrell enrolls in a Yoga class only to become flexible enough to fellate his own organ. But truth is often stranger than fiction. In 1975, the psychiatrist Frances Millican and her colleagues described the real case of a “very disturbed” patient who learned Yoga precisely for this reason.

I remember hearing stories in middle school about how Marilyn Manson also had a bone removed to engage in autofellatio but don’t recall any other recent cases. Bering goes on to tell us about one guy who managed to suck his banana back in the 1920s:

The very first published psychiatric case of autofellatio, appearing in the American Journal of Psychiatry way back in 1938, was also one of the most outrageous and pathological. The patient was a 33-year-old store clerk who, prior to being referred to Yale psychiatrists Eugen Kahn and Ernest Lion, had just completed a 60-day jail sentence for sexual assault…The patient was the third-oldest of eight children and grew up in a strict, religious family, which the physicians felt he rebelled against by egregiously breaching their high moral standards. In recounting to the psychiatrists the origins of his interest in autofellatio, the troubled clerk recalled being invited at the age of 14 by a “cripple boy” to engage in oral sex with him. The patient, being shy, had refused this offer, but the thought of it simmered and, lacking the courage to approach anyone else, he took matters upon himself: “He kept trying night after night, managing to bend his back more and more until he finally succeeded in August, 1923.”

This struck me as particularly interesting:

In an odd Pavlov’s dog sort of way, the authors even describe how the man’s sexual arousal had since then been accompanied by a “constricting feeling in the throat.” … “He has attempted to secure substitute gratification,” say the authors, “by smoking, or by stimulating his pharynx with a banana, vaginal douche or a broom handle. These have yielded various degrees of satisfaction.” And he did apparently get over his adolescent shyness and lack of confidence, too—he particularly enjoyed fellating himself in front of a shocked audience.

Wow. Now there’s a train wreck of a show I might pay to see. But then I also spent 50 euros on a sex show in Amsterdam that included such highlights as watching a woman pull yards of string from her vagina and watching a roided out asian due doing a “sexy” tai chi dance before fucking a girl on stage. Good times. Okay that has nothing to do with this story…

So what about ladies? Bering writes:

I know, I know, I didn’t even get a chance to talk about autocunningulism in females. Given the even more serious anatomical hurdles in lacking a protruding reproductive device, such behavior in women may not even be possible. I confess I don’t know; and there’s no mention of it in the scientific literature. The closest female comparison to autofellatio I stumbled upon is the case of women who suckle from their own breasts, for sexual or other purposes. One therapist writes of an especially self-sufficient female patient who had a habit of doing this. When he asked her why, she merely replied, “I’m hungry.” But that’s another article for another day.

Hm. I could see how a new mother might be curious to taste what’s coming out of her newly giant boobies. But definitely can’t imagine any women have ever tried eating themselves out. Ladies, gents, what are your thoughts on autofellatio? Weign in below.

To read more about Bering’s research and thoughts on autofellatio, check out the original article here.



Image from

How sex can help you live longer

Some people (including myself) might argue that a life without sex isn’t a life worth living.  Anna Hodgekiss over at ioL in London compiled some interesting research on how knocking the boots leaves you not only happier but healthier as well. Some highlights:



Sex can have a protective effect on the heart. A study at Queen’s University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could halve the risk of heart attack or stroke.

Another study in Israel found that women who had two orgasms a week were up to 30 percent less likely to have heart disease than those who didn’t enjoy sex or didn’t orgasm.

Dr Lisa Turner, a sex and relationship therapist, says: “One theory is that these women may have felt depressed, which has been linked with an increased risk of a heart attack. The endorphins released during sex also neutralise the stress hormones in the body, which are linked to heart disease.”

And the old cliche of sex causing heart attacks? “It’s a very low risk – it accounts for less than 1 percent of all deaths,” says Dr Graham Jackson, consultant cardiologist at the London Bridge Hospital and chairman of the Sexual Advice Association.

However, if you’re over 50, overweight and unfit, there is a risk to your heart – just as there would be if you suddenly and vigorously took up any form of exercise.

Here’s one I haven’t heard before:


United States research found menopausal women who had sex every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as their abstaining counterparts. The hormone has a protective effect in bone health and a lack of it after the menopause has been linked with osteoporosis.

“Regular sex increases the production of oestrogen,” says Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

Some bad news for men of the cloth:


Researchers at Nottingham University have found that men who enjoy a regular sex life in their 50s are at lower risk of developing prostate cancer. “Clearing the prostate out regularly is the reason behind this,” says Dr Ghosh.

“The link was suggested after research showed that monks appear to have a higher chance of developing prostate cancer.”

Here’s one that will come as no surprise to anyone who grew up with those flaccid cigarette PSAs (or were those only a Hawaii thing?):


Here’s a simple way to get your man to kick his smoking habit – remind him that it causes the penis to shrink and can cause impotence.

Erections are all about good blood flow, and lighting up worsens blood flow to the spongy tissues in the penis, says Raj Persad, consultant urological surgeon at Bristol Royal Infirmary.

“As a result, they become starved of oxygen and the delicate cells die away. They then become fibrotic – forming scar tissue – which is less elastic and less able to expand during an erection than regular healthy tissue.”

Smoking is also a known cause of erectile dysfunction as it causes hardening of the arteries and hampers good blood flow.

A study of more 7,000 Chinese men, published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, found that the more cigarettes smoked a day, the higher the risk of impotence.

Ladies, don’t get too angry with your men when they want to doze off after doing the deed. Apparently


For a man, a powerful orgasm is the equivalent of having a 2-3mg shot of diazepam (or Valium), says Dr Ghosh. “And diazepam works as a muscle relaxant which is why so many men nod off after finishing – there really is a biological reason.”

Women benefit emotionally, too. “The endorphins released during sex can really help treat depression and clear the mind.

“One endorphin is serotonin, known as the happy hormone; the other is the endogenous endorphin and this creates a sense of bliss (orgasm) for five to ten seconds in men – and up to four or five minutes in women, which is excellent for mental health.

“One theory is that women orgasm for longer because their cervix is contracting to draw the sperm up towards the ovaries.”

In The 40 Year Old Virgin, Andy asks a woman at Planned Parenthood, “is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?” Apparently the answer is yes:


“Just like smoking or diabetes, a lack of regular blood flow to the penis will over time cause some of the tissues to die,” says Mr Persad.

Indeed, Finnish research has confirmed that men who had sex less than once a week at the start of the study were twice as likely to develop erectile dysfunction as those who had it at least once a week.

In the study of 1,000 men aged between 55 and 75, those who had sex three or more times a week lowered their risk fourfold.

There’s no reason not to enjoy a full sex life in old age, adds Dr Jackson.

“We have some patients in their 80s taking Viagra-type drugs and studies have shown that a regular sex life can prolong life – it’s basically another form of exercise.

“There seems to be a myth that you’re past it once you hit 65, but that’s rubbish.”


There you have it. Don’t let age get in the way of your sexual adventures! Keep at it and you might live long enough to see Alf make a comeback.


Images from ioL

See original article here